Convicted.

Lesson for the day, do not be convinced of something you don't believe in. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let someone guilt you into believing something.

I've been thinking about my own personal identity. Some people use their faith to identify themselves others use their lack of faith to identify themselves. Either way, they know who they are, or feel they know who they are and what they believe.

I feel like I need to believe in something to know who I am. Pretty much all the way through high school I attended youth group regularly and thats how I identified myself for the most part. I believed in Jesus and met with a group of 50 other people who did too. That was who I was. Now I am not so sure.

Being at college has opened me up to many other peoples views on different beliefs. I'm not sure if a Christian life is for me or even if a Buddhist life is for me. Maybe I shouldn't have any religion, seeing as no one really can agree on exactly what the definition of religion is.

I like the idea of praying though. The idea of giving up all your thoughts, worries, feelings, praises and the like to someone. In my case, God. Even though I am unsure at the moment, I still pray to God for some sort of guidance. I'm not sure if I've been conditioned by family members or other friends to do this or if it is really what I want to do.

I've been doing a lot of reading about other religions and what they believe and how and where they meet. I wouldn't call my current situation a crisis of any sort but it is a difficult time. Not bad difficult, just confusing.

This post is a lot like the last one, but I think I needed to discuss it just a little more.

Always be true to yourself.

Lesson for the day, be true to yourself. I know, it's a pretty straight forward lesson that we've been taught from our parents, teachers and other family members since we could walk but sometimes you need to be reminded that it's important to do what you want.

I didn't really have an experience relating to this recently but I know that I have struggled with it before. For the longest time I pretended not to believe in something because one of my friends didn't believe in it either. I went along with it to support her and to make sure she wouldn't not be my friend.

In order to be true to yourself you have to know yourself. I don't think that many high schoolers let alone college students really know who they are. It takes a long time to figure out who you are. It can be a rough to go through high school and college trying to figure out who you are. I believe that kids will get into certain cliques just because that clique is accepting of them. It may not really be where that kid belongs. The clique may not have the same values and beliefs that you have but since they are accepting of you, you may try to change your values and go against what you really believe.

In my freshman and sophomore year of high school I struggled with this quite a bit. I hung out with plenty of different people because I had some identity issues. I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be.

I'm not saying that I know exactly who I am now. I know mostly who I am. I know what sorts of things make me happy, like spending time with my family or eating a good plate of spaghetti. I also know what makes me upset, like people who bad mouth others and final exams.

Knowing who you are is more of a growth process than anything else. Learning more about yourself and how those around affect you is a continual process.

Snape's Revenge and Max at Sea.

Lesson for the day, not all fan fiction is crazy (bad).

In my writing class we were talking about plagiarism and along with that, fan fiction. I used to hate the idea of fan fiction but we read Max at Sea for class and it wasn't half bad. It is based on Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sednak.

Personally, I love the book so much. When I saw that they were making a movie out of it I was so excited to see the movie. I went into the movie with the mindset that they often change the story a little or a lot. So I "cleared" my mind of the original book by Sednak so I could judge the movie without any bias of the book.

The movie itself was good, a little dark, but nonetheless it had great cinematic elements and the acting wasn't half bad. The screen play for the movie was based of a novel that Dave Eggers wrote. He got permission from Sednak to use the story and he wrote a novel and the movie. Sednak was involved with the production of the movie, which I thought was pretty cool.

In high school I read a little bit of fan fiction for Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I didn't like all of what I read. Usually I didn't finish a story because I was not impressed with how the author used characters or how they changed the character. I've read a few fan fictions where Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are intimate partners. Not sure I am alright with that. I'm not homophobic, I just like it the way J.K. Rowling had it better.

So for me, when it comes to fan fiction, the author shouldn't stray too far from the original story but should go far enough from it that it isn't exactly the same.

http://www.fanfiction.net/

Sleep.

Do you ever feel like you got too much sleep? I know, it may seem impossible but I have a headache after my two hour nap. It may be the weather but I'm not sure.

So, the lesson is to get enough sleep when it is time to sleep.

Sleeping during the day can disrupt your circadian rhythm causing you to have problems sleeping at night which can screw everything up. You need to get into a rhythm at night and stay with it. Go to bed at a decent hour every night and wake up at the same time every morning.

After I nap, I feel good because I got sleep but I feel like I'm dragging after that. Once you've gotten into the habit of taking naps during the day, you're always going to want to take naps during the day. Sometimes a twenty minute power nap isn't so bad -BUT- I usually nap for an hour or more. Not good because I can't fall asleep at night.

So, sleep people.

A little time and effort.

Lesson of the day, I realized that if I actually set some time aside to do just homework and put forth a little effort, it just might get done.

I did a lot of homework today. It feels really good to get it done. Not just because it gets graded or I have to get it checked but I feel like I am actually learning something. Having a reading done helps with participation in a class discussion.

The first few weeks of class I had a hard time getting my Ethics and Society readings done so participating in class was difficult. We have small groups in class that we discuss things in and I got embarrassed if I didn't know anything that we were talking about. It was very evident that I didn't do my work. I hated getting put on the spot when I didn't know anything that we were talking about.

I'd become one of those students who I would get fed up with. I was the slacker. Not a very nice thing to call myself or someone else. When it's true though, you can't help it.

The last few weeks I have been getting about 90% of my homework done. Not 100% but I am sure going to try and get it there. It feels good to be in class and know what is being talked about. It sure does make a difference.

Paper wasters.

Lesson for the day, you can't make your teachers feel the same way about something as you do. I have a few teachers who go through trees upon trees of paper. One of my folders is already stuffed full of pointless articles and assignments that could just have easily been e-mailed to us.

Don't get me wrong. I like have hard copies of things but not all the time. If it's a reading that's more than a page I'd like to have the hard copy but if it's a small reading assignment or instructions for an assignment, I'd like them to be e-mailed.

I know that the paper we get comes from farmed tree forests. Farmed tree forests are much different than other forests and tree populations. Farmed tree forests often lead to soil erosion. Regular forests usually help the soil become strong and healthy. Farmed tree forests call for lots of fertilizers and lack variety.

So many students are just going to through their whole folder away and there goes a whole pack of paper in the garbage can. They probably didn't look at any one page for more than 10 minutes.

If I can't get my teachers to understand, maybe you will.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

Motivation.

Lesson for the day, find some motivation.

I stumbled across the following video the other day and I find myself going back to watch it over and over again. Not just for the inspiration but to figure out which movies they were taken from. I know most of them but am having trouble with a few.

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

I like this video because it's motivational, fun and creative. I wish I had someone pushing me to do things like the speeches are in this video. I know that I have friends and family that want me to do well but none of them are really holding me accountable for anything. They ask me how I am doing but thats about it. None of them are really making sure that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.

I know that I am not in high school anymore but it would be nice to have someone directly pushing me to do things once in a while. It could just be the high schooler in me that needs to grow up. Who knows? Or the human in me that wants other people to be proud of me. Eh, who knows?

Ooh, I have my first follower! It's so exciting.

You can't always get what you want.

So, lesson for the day: your roommates aren't always going to do what you think they should do. Mainly, I'm talking about the dishes. I've been doing my own dishes. Anything I dirty, I clean. I'm not too worried about their cups, bowls and what not it's the pots and pans that drives me nuts. Since I am not a very confrontational person, I wash the pots and pans with a smile on my face.

You'd think that if you make fricken mac and cheese you'd clean up after yourself. A pot with crusty mac and cheese is not so easy to clean and it smells bad.

I love my roommates to death. They are the greatest roommates I could ask for. I just wish the pots and pans would get cleaned up once and a while.

Another thing, I was thinking about why we don't get mail here at school on Saturdays, the fricken university is closed on Saturday. This bugs me because the postal service IS NOT closed on Saturdays so I want my mail dangit.

Daylight savings time, no help.

Lesson learned this morning, just because it's daylight savings doesn't mean you aren't tired on Monday.

I know that DST is supposed to give you an extra hour of sleep or whatever but I am just as tired this morning as any other morning. I am not looking forward to Spring when we lose an hour. =[

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local-beat/Take-an-Extra-Hour-of-Sleep-Tonight-68038922.html

Halloween weekend and such.

So, it's really hard for me to sit down and write when I am busy with so many other things like homework (which technically this is), Halloween and my boyfriend came up this weekend.

So, over the weekend I learned that you shouldn't wait around for other people to decide what you are going to do. You should just go and do what you want. I decided that I'd go out with some friends on Saturday night after the hockey game but I left it up to them to decide where we would go. Not a bad idea, it just wasn't a good idea. We went to a frat house and it isn't really my thing. I felt out of place and it wasn't a lot of fun. I only knew a handful of people who were there.

I miss the good ol' days of trick or treating. Why can't college kids trick or treat?

Another thing, long distance relationships are hard but they can work. My boyfriend left to go back to school this afternoon. It was hard to say bye even though I know I'll see him again in two weeks but it takes a little while to be okay with him gone. I like when he visits.

In order for a long distance relationship to work you have to be committed, understanding, trusting and hard working. There are many other traits necessary but these are the most important to me. Over the past year and a half I have learned that college is a vital investment for someone's future and where you go to college is a very important part of that investment.

I understand that Stout is where he wants to be right now and UMD is where I want to be right now. If we have to be apart for a few years to be together for many more after that, I am okay with that and can learn to deal with it. It's taken me a long time to get to this point and be okay with it.