A Little Bit of Thinking

Lesson of the day: once you start thinking about one deep thought, they just keep coming. The worst part about it is that I don't know how to articulate everything that I am thinking. The downside of that is that I am a writer - or I want to be at least.

So today, I was sitting in class and really wanted to know what time it was. I couldn't check my phone because it was off and would have made too much noise if I turned it on and the clock is in the back of the room. In the back of the room facing the back of our heads. The only one who can see the clock is my professor. That got me thinking about how much of a time driven society we are and how that is all we are ever really thinking about. We are racing time to go somewhere and where is that somewhere? We race the clock but where is the finish line? Is the finish line a "big kid" job with a salary or is it graduating from high school, maybe even college? I also started thinking about how I should have been more focused on learning from my professor than worrying about how rude I'd look if I turned around to look at the time. It's a small class and it would have been pretty noticeable if I turned around and looked at the clock. I should have faith that my professor wouldn't keep us there past the designated time but I just wanted to know how many more minutes were left.

Another thing I thought about today, that was provoked by a discussion in class, is that you could be selfish for doing good for other people. You can never really have altruistic motives when you do good. This is why I hate Oprah but feel like I am a good person when I make a sacrifice for someone else. I guess I am a hypocrite but at least I admit it, right? There is a difference between me and Oprah, I'm not a famous rich person who can put my name on anything and sell it like crazy. Sometimes I wish I was but unfortunately I can only influence people close to me on what to buy and what to read. I wish I could give a few hundred people Magic Bullets or books or cars but I can't. I can't afford it. Does it make me a bad person if I don't give them a car?

I think I am getting a little off topic though.

If you're doing good just so you will be judged positively when you die, then aren't you being selfish because you have ulterior motives?

I really like my History of Rhetoric class. Well, for now anyways because the Greeks are really interesting and have a lot to say about rhetoric and art and justification and etc.